Off Duty Antics
by Inarium
Summary: The mischievous snipers Archer and Toad cause trouble in a certain someone's office. When the two go missing it's up to Roach to find them, and soon finds out getting involved wasn't such a good idea.


"I'm telling you man, she's totally into me" explained Meat to Royce who was sitting on the recreation room couch flicking through the TV channels.  
>"Dude that's what you say about all the chicks" retorted Royce still trying to find a decent channel.<br>"Meat, which area of specialty is this weeks chick from?" asked Ozone walking past with newspaper in hand, taking a seat at the closest table.  
>"No kidding, first it was a nurse, then a mechanic, then communications" listed Royce.<br>"Yeah so what's it this time Royce?"  
>"Engineer"<br>"Meat not every female on this base is attracted to you, hell, name me one" playfully mocked MacTavish who casually strolled in to get a drink from the fridge.  
>Meat folded his arms "Whatever man, you're just jealous"<br>Mactavish was about to reply with a witty comeback when all of a sudden they heard someone angrily shout profanities and threats, followed by a loud burst of laughter from one of the nearby office rooms.  
>"What the hell?" said Ozone looking up from the paper he was reading.<p>

Without notice in came running Archer and Toad, the trouble making snipers. Their heads swivelled around with panic looking for a place to hide. Toad simply jumped behind the couch whilst Archer slid in the broom cabinet, both were trying their hardest to supress their laughter. The other men all looked at each other confused, until an angry Ghost walked into the room.  
>"Where the fuck are those bastards?" growled Ghost.<br>Peasant who was not one for conflict on base decided to get things over and done with. He stood up from where he was quietly reading, walked over to Toad and kicked him, causing him to give away his position, then opened the closet in which Archer was hiding.  
>"Uh, hi Ghost, how's it going buddy" said Toad rubbing his head and giving Ghost a nervous grin.<br>Archer was trying to think up an escape plan.  
>Ghost paced over to Toad picking him up by his shirt and looked at him with fierce blue eyes, Toad's blue eyes looked back in panic. Suddenly Archer made a dive, spear tackling Toad from Ghosts's vicious grasp as the two trouble makers were on the run again.<br>"When I catch you I'll slit your throats!" yelled Ghost.  
>"Ghost? What exactly are you mad at them for if you don't mind me asking?" questioned Royce.<br>"Those arseholes thought it'd be hillarious to wrap everything in my office in newspaper when I have an important document to write up"  
>Meat was trying to hide his laughter by pushing a pillow against his mouth, but Ghost shot him a look that made him rethink his actions. With that, Ghost stormed off to hunt down the tricksters.<br>MacTavish let out a sigh as he cracked open a beer "There's never a dull moment around this place".

A few hours had passed and the group of men were now sitting in the mess hall eating supper. Soap and Ghost sat at the table with a few of the other Captains and Lieutenants, Roach was blabbering on about something at his table with Meat, Royce, Rocket, Ozone, Worm, and...  
>"Hey where's Toad and Archer?" wondered Meat looking around the mess hall to see if they were coming in or still lining up for food.<br>"Hey yeah, where are those two? I hope they're not up to more mischief" replied Rocket.  
>"I've got a bad feeling..." muttered Roach turning to look at Ghost on the the hierarchy table.<br>'What's that Roach?" asked Royce curiously.  
>"I might be jumping to conclusions here but something tells me Ghost is involved with their disappearance" Roach shoveled the last bit of mashed potato into his mouth, and stood up.<br>"I'm going looking for them"  
>"I'll come too" vouched Meat<br>"And for extra assistance I'll come as well" added Royce.  
>"Rocket, Ozone and Worm you stay here and man our table... and so we don't look like a walking orgy" ordered Roach as him and his allies set off to find where Toad and Archer were.<p>

First place they checked was the first aid room in case Ghost had gotten physically violent, even though he was generally calm in any situation he was known to lose his temper at times, especially when stressed over dreaded paperwork, but everyone could understand that.  
>The snipers weren't in the first aid room, which luckily meant they weren't maimed half to death, so Roach and his posse decided to check the recreation room just to cross off the options. Again there was no sign of them.<br>"A sniper's main instinct is to keep a low profile from the enemy right? What if they're hiding out somewhere away from Ghost?"  
>"It's certainly plausible" replied Meat to Roach's theory.<br>The three men continued searching through the base looking through every room, behind every bit of furniture and in every closet, but alas they were beginning to think that either Archer and Toad were exceptional hide and seek players or that Ghost had seriously done something with them.  
>Suddenly whilst walking past the media room they realized light coming from the crack under the door. Someone was in there.<br>Roach bent down to peer under the door to see what appeared to be two people sitting down.  
>"There's people in there"<br>"How many?"question Royce.  
>"Two"<br>With that Meat busted through the door to find Archer and Toad tied to chairs and up on the screen Twilight was playing.  
>"About time someone came for us, I'd take an interrogation any day over this goddam movie!" painfully comment Archer as Roach begun untying him.<br>The others waited for a reply from Toad, only to find him with his head rolled back fast asleep.  
>"Oi! Wake up wanker" said Archer elbowing Toad in the head.<br>With a startled movement Toad's eyes flicked open as he looked around to see his rescue party.  
>"Oh hey guys, the movie's over already? What did I miss?"<br>Everyone simply rolled there eyes as they untied Toad and set off to the mess hall hoping to find Ghost. Archer and Toad were just hoping to scrape in to get some dinner.

Upon entering the mess hall the captive duo raced to get food, Royce and Meat went to tell the others about their adventure whilst Roach was on a mission to find Ghost. The table Ghost was sitting at was clear, the captains and lieutenants had already finished and gone. Roach knew Ghost would be in his office so he went looking. He walked down the hallway not far from the recreation room and politely knocked before opening the door to Ghost's office.  
>"Ghost?"<br>"Ah Roach good to see you" welcomed Ghost throwing the last bit of newspaper to the floor next to an overflowing bin.  
>"So uh I came to ask..." begun Roach, but Ghost was walking towards the door. He then locked it with a key and turned to Roach, who could feel Ghost smirking under his balaclava.<br>" There's this really great movie you have to watch" Ghost said before clubbing Roach over the head with his pistol as he fell to the ground unconscious.


End file.
